fifty_jades_darkerfandomcom-20200214-history
Episode 2
The episode was released on July 31, 2018. Transcript 25 days after Jade first appeared, at Run DNC… Joe Biden: “He’s trying to tell us, he cares about the middle class, give me a break, that’s a bunch of malarkey!” Today… Colin: “There are 16 players in this episode’s challenge. One of them is either Teinei 690 or Quazing.” http://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen7ou-784022212 T2 – TN 53%, QZ 47% T4 – TN 55%, QZ 45% T8 – TN 54%, QZ 46% T10 – TN 55%, QZ 45% T15 – TN 56%, QZ 44% Quazing forfeited, Teinei 690 is safe. Final – TN 5979, QZ 4021 Colin: “Quazing is doing the challenge and, could be battling either, Jade, or, a member of the Disgusting group.” Colin: “Competitor number 2: either Frantic24 or ryiyuiyfuiy.” Dick Cox: “Ryiyuifuiy, huh? What kind of name is that?” Colin: “And then later, Elite Champeon vs…” The screen says SABOWLETITAN vs. kekekakakoko. Dick Cox: “No, the screen says SABOWLETITAN vs. Kekekakakoko. Stupid people don’t know how to name themselves! http://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen4randombattle-784031248 T3 – SB 49%, KK 51% T6 – SB 53%, KK 47% T9 – SB 53%, KK 47% T10 – SB 55%, KK 45% T15 – SB 55%, KK 45% T17 – SB 48%, KK 52% (Jade is shaking her head no.) Final – SB 4595, KK 5405 Colin: “Jade. You wanted SABOWLETITAN to win?” Jade: “I did.” Colin: “You did?” Dick: “I also wanted him to win, that way I rip apart the K’s, the E’s, the A’s, and the O’s, and if he doesn’t come up with a new name, his head will be in pieces.” Colin: “Well, it doesn’t matter.” Bouncer: “Mew is on his team, he’ll probably pick that and make it past the challenge.” Colin: “You could be up against SABOWLETITAN, or you could be up against Quazing, or one of the 14 remaining candidates, one of them is either, choppysloppy, or, nikeforge.” Brent: “I want to track down choppysloppy. He sounds like a trainer that will be thrown in the water.” http://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen7randombattle-784039438 T3 – CS 55%, NF 45% Brent: “NikeForge needs to win.” Alexa: “She looks like someone who likes the water.” Brent: “She has an Eelektross. Cooper Bates has an Eelektross.” T5 – CS 57%, NF 43% (NF’S % is miswritten as 53%) Colin: “Choppy sloppy, is on, fire.” Final – CS 6045, NF 3955 Jim: “He has a Mantine and what other Pokémon?” Dick: “Oranguru.” Colin: “Battle number 4, BORED, 1, versus, TesterHay.” Dick: “Fucking bullshit… IT’S SARAFELI VERSUS GUILHERME VOCTOR! OK?” http://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen7randombattle-784046260 T2 – SF 54%, GV 46% T4 – SF 56%, GV 44% T7 – SF 57%, GV 43% T9 – SF 60%, GV 40% T10 – SF 58%, GV 42% T11 – SF 61%, GV 39% T14 – SF 59%, GV 41% Final – SF 6338, GV 3662 Fries: “OK, what’s going on here?” Dick: “Something’s fucked up with the screen.” Screen manager: “The screen has a few problems, such as loading it up.” Colin: “Battle number 5: I can’t with the names.” Dick: “It’s ASTRUNZINZOLO vs. WinterEpsilon.” http://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen7randombattle-784052938 T5 – AZ 55%, WE 45% T9 – AZ 51%, WE 49% Final – AZ 4623, WE 5377 Jim: “Zolo. Zolo’s in this game?” Colin: “Battle number 6.” Jim laughs at the screen names. Colin: “Y-F-F-H-F-J-H-G-J-H, versus, NotryaGlint. There will be multiple of at least one Unova boy.” http://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen7ou-784059069 The match started with two Stealth Rocks. T13 – YF 54, NG 46 Final – YF 6046, NG 3954 http://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen7randombattle-784073178 Screen: Allen14 vs. AllM12 Screen: equipe rockte vs. mikeex82 Jade: “April Fools times 2 is in 2 days!” http://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen7randombattle-784073189 T6 – ER 53, ME 47 T10 – ER 53, ME 47 T19 – ER 39, ME 61 Final – ER 3590, ME 6410 Colin: “Haze07 versus Mombitch.” Colin: “It isn’t loading a match! They’re gonna have to receive a reprieve.” Colin: “Quaking, SABOWLETITAN, nikeforge, Guilherme Voctor, ASTRUNZINZOLO, NotryaGlint, and equipe rockte, are doing the challenge. 9 spots are left.” Screen: “ch1dori vs. Respect Wahmen.” John: “Uh, they also get a reprieve.” Fries: “Hey hey hey, you can just downgrade the number of participants back to 8?” Four: “Fine.” Colin: “One more player will be part of the challenge.” Screen: “jaytizzle vs. “ Screen manager: “His opponent’s name actually has a’s and e’s, they also get a reprieve.” Colin: “This could be, a suspenseful, episode.” Screen: “sssdsss vs. kmhjfgjghfsd.” Colin: “Are they in jeopardy though?” http://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen7randombattle-784087262 T5 – SS 45, KM 55 T6 – SS 43, KM 57 T8 – SS 44, KM 56 (misspelt as KN) T12 – SS 43, KM 57 T14 – SS 45, KM 55 Manager: “I guess our analyst is too sick to work.” T15 – SS 45, KM 55 Manager: “But at least he checks in and does okay.” T19 – SS 47, KM 53 Colin: “The K is clearly in the lead.” T21 – SS 46, KM 54 T22 – SS 44, KM 56 T23 – SS 40, KM 60 Total – SS 3906, KM 6094 Dick: “The analyst is fucking out of his fucking mind.” Colin: “One of these 8 players will take on Jade. We will find out after the break.” And after the break… Player list: Four: “You guys lost your battles, so you’ll do the challenge. It’s the same as last time, except with Plankton’s Revenge Pinball.” Kartana, Mew, Oranguru, Deoxys-Speed, Infernape, Stakataka, Crabonimable, and Registeel Let’s see how Pokemon does against human. Teanna received 2,859,000 points. Trainers, your Pokemon needs to beat that score or you are not safe. Quazing’s Kartana got 2,128,000 points. SABOWLETITAN’s Mew got 2,929,000 points. SABOWLETITAN is safe. Nikeforge’s Oranguru got 4,533,000 points. Nikeforge is safe. Guilherme Voctor’s Deoxys-Speed got 4,615,000 points. Guilherme Voctor is safe. ASTRUNZINZOLO’s Infernape got 1,553,000 points. NotryaGlint’s Stakataka got 750,000 points. Equipe rockte’s Crabominable got 2,146,000 points. Sssdsss’s Registeel got 2,993,000 points. Sssdsss is safe. Jade will come up with numbers to determine her opponent. Quazing – 2,128,000 + 2,390,000 = 4,518,000 ASTRUNZINZOLO – 1,553,000 + 1,189,000 = 2,742,000 NotryaGlint – 750,000 + 1,533,000 = 2,283,000 Equipe rockte – 2,146,000 + 1,641,000 = 3,787,000 Therefore, Jade’s opponent is NotryaGlint. NotryaGlint’s team consists of Uxie, Stakataka, Cofagrigus, Crawdaunt, Camerupt, and Marowak. NotryaGlint summoned Stakataka, Jade summoned Beambomb. Beambomb used Tidal Beam, knocking Stakataka out in one hit. Then he summoned Uxie. Jade switched to Bouncer, therefore, the move Stealth Rock bounced back. Bouncer used Ice Block and the move hit. Bouncer used Cosmic Power 5 times. Then after Uxie thawed out, Uxie used U-Turn. The move was super effective, but due to the uses of Cosmic Power, Bouncer only took 6% damage. Uxie switched to Cofagrigus. Bouncer used Psycho Chase, reducing Cofagrigus’s health to less than half. Bouncer uses Psycho Chase again, Cofagrigus fainted. Cofagrigus used Shadow Ball, which was also super effective against Bouncer, but due to the effects of Cosmic Power, bouncer took only 11% damage. Crawdaunt was sent out. Bouncer used Ice Block. Bouncer used Mirror Blast. Crawdaunt remains frozen solid, Bouncer used Mirror Blast again, and it was a critical hit, causing Crawdaunt to faint. NotryaGlint was left hopeless. Bouncer used Psycho Chase. Marowak used Knock Off. Bouncer now has 58% of health left. Bouncer uses Psycho Chase again, Marowak fainted. NotryaGlint sent out Camerupt. Bouncer used Psycho Chase, Camerupt used Fire Blast, Bouncer was safe from burn, Bouncer used Psychic Chase again, Camerupt fainted. Uxie is back. Uxie used U-Turn, resulting in 6% damage for Bouncer. Bouncer used Mirror Blast, resulting in 36% damage. Uxie used U-Turn again, giving Bouncer 5% more damage. Bouncer used Mirror Blast again, resulting in 34% damage. Uxie used U-Turn again, giving Bouncer another 6% damage. Bouncer used Mirror Blast again, so Uxie fainted. As a result, Jade is the winner of this Pokémon match. It looks like Bouncer needs a bit of a break. Jade gets to assign the carnage apportionments. Here they are: Uxie 40, Stakataka 60, Cofagrigus 75, Crawdaunt 70, Camerupt 45, Marowak 40. Colin: “If any Pokémon, ANY POKÉMON, reaches 1,000 in the carnage apportionment count, it receives… the useless, print. The closest to which is Kommo-o.”